Complacency

"On an altar of prejudice we crucify our own, yet the blood of all children is the color of God.”
- Don Williams Jr.

Before I begin with a story that has brought a semi-permanent cloud over my normally sunny disposition, I must give you a bit of the back story. One of our dear teachers in Prathom (where they teach students from 1-6th grade) has to leave Bangkok at the end of October and so the department is trying to figure out who will take her classes at the beginning of next term.

Enter in Dwight - he's taught at Mattayom (where I teach) previously, he speaks Thai, he's got a great personality, all the kids love him here, and he's well-liked by both Mattayom AND Prathom teachers. Geoffrey, our British guardian, recommended Dwight to the head of the English department at Prathom and they both went over there yesterday morning to talk to the English head about Dwight taking over the class. The man looked at Geoffrey and, disregarding Dwight's obvious credentials and qualifications, told him that he would not take Dwight because he might scare the children.

Dwight is black.

Before I came to Thailand I had been warned that there is a thinly veiled current of prejudice that runs through its society. It comes as no surprise to me after being here since this is a society that worships an eerily pale complexion and where whitening ingredients are found in every bath and beauty product.

Nevertheless, this is a school. Schools are to be the fount of education not the swamps of ignorance. I teach in Mattayom, just steps away from Prathom, and my race has never been an issue. The students love me and some of the teachers here are almost like family. What makes the children in P6 (6th grade), that a person like me would not be able to teach, any different from a M1 (7th grade) student that I am?

Perhaps the department head's response simply sprung out of hundreds of years of social conditioning. It is not forgivable but is certainly more understandable BUT I cannot forgive nor understand the response of some of my fellow teachers.

Two of the seven Prathom teachers were righteously indignant over the prejudicial attitude that was exhibited that day. Unfortunately, when discussing the situation with some of their fellow teachers, they received comments like "Oh, that's just the way it is" and "It's Thailand" and even "Oh, we're from Texas we deal with racism."

Pardon me while I am ill.

No, YOU do not deal with racism. You are complacent and are part of a broken system that would deny a person's rights because of the color of their skin. The phrase "that's just their culture" is enough to send thoughts of violence streaming through my head. It is one thing to honor a culture by accepting their ways of doing things, using their greetings, speaking their language, and acting in a polite manner befitting your position. But NEVER can and will simple, universal, human ethics be bound by culture.

Child prostitution is wrong, forced female circumcision is wrong, sexual abuse of children is wrong, racism and prejudice ARE wrong. From New York to Bangkok, these things are wrong and inexcusable.

The attitude of culturally brainwashed people is understandable, the complacency of my fellow, educated Americans is unforgivable. To say that cultural racism is okay is to relegate my life - and the lives of any others that are faced with daily racism, prejudice, and discrimination - to one of inconsequence. A life where my happiness and freedom are whims of whatever society I may find myself in and one in which my feelings, hopes, dreams, and ideas have no bearing.

Perhaps this is not what they meant, but this is what they have said, and this is what they have done.

Almost there...

It's official, Bobbi and I have booked our flights to Hanoi for a few days in October.

I'm extremely excited - I was worried that I would spend the entirety of my break here in Bangkok but it's good to know that I'll get to go away for at least a little while.

Now, all I have to do is get through proctoring final exams and a ridiculous amount of grading but it will be worth it for this...



Hanoi, Vietnam

Thoughts

The gentle breeze
Of early spring
Always rings
In the midnight air

O mother bird
Gently crows
To the morning sun
The gentle breeze

The smell of spring
So fresh and sweet
Flowers blooming
Motors booming

And early birds
Chirp and sing
Always ring
As spring passes by

With a sign.

My old middle school friend, Jonathan, sent me an email filled with poems that I had written during that early stage of life. A time when things seemed easier and I had more time to indulge in my love of writing.

Life continues to pass by easily here in Bangkok. We have begun our last week of classes as we ease into finals and then the 3 week break in October. The holiday looms on the horizon and I still remain unsure as to how best to take advantage of it. My initial plans have fallen by the wayside and the thought of such free time just spent in Bangkok seems unnerving.

Things have settled down greatly since my last blog. The PM has been removed from office and, while the protesters maintain that they will not concede until all members of his party are removed also, the air is not heavy with tension.

As we enter into the last couple of weeks of September, it strikes me that I have been here for 4 months now. Some days it feels longer. Some shorter. Bangkok and I have settled into each other like a body and a worn-out couch - some days I grow tired and restless but most days I'm content to settle in, usually with a good book these days.

Violent Mob/State of Emergency

UPDATE:

A State of emergency has been declared in Bankgok - the first use of this controversial law since it was passed last year. Taken from the Bangkok Post website:

Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej on Tuesday imposed a state of emergency after overnight clashes between pro- and anti-government protesters left one person dead and dozens injured. The military has full police powers effective immediately, and army commander Gen Anupong Paojinda is in charge of security.

I'll be sure to keep everyone updated once I have more information.

Dear Readers,

Although we had school on Monday (for the first time in a week), we received a call just under 30 minutes ago (5:45 am - Bangkok time) that school would be canceled today. We found out that the two opposing protest groups (one pro-government and the other anti) got into a fight earlier this morning and the results were that 1 person was killed and another 34 were injured - 4 in critical condition. The army intervened and both sides have now retreated from one another. The disturbing thing about this fight is that the person was killed with a shot to the head. This is disturbing in that the protestors were not supposed to have guns in the first place. This puts the situation in a higher level of escalation. We have been advised to stay close to the apartment and not wander off - an advice that I'm sure we will heed very well.

I'll keep you updated as soon as I have more information. I'm sure everything will be fine as the protesters are contained to one certain part of the city (which unfortunately just happens to be at the school where we teach). Neverthless, do keep us in your prayers.

Lots of love.

Mob: 3 School: 0

UPDATE(Thursday 28 August): School is now canceled for the 3rd day and apparently arrest warrants have been issues for the core leaders of the PAD (the mob). Perhaps there is an end in sight, but who really knows?
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So, today is the second day that classes have been canceled due to the ongoing protest at the Government House.

I found a really good and concise ARTICLE on yahoo that summarizes the current situation.

If you're too much of a bum to read the article, this is the main scoop:

In 2006 there was a coup, run by the military and assisted by the PAD (the mob/protestors), the coup removed then Prime Minister Thaksin

January 2008 the current government was put in place.

Decisions were made since then that have convinced the PAD that the current PM Samak is really under the control of Thaksin.

Thus, the PAD is now trying to get Samak to resign and dissolve the government, so they have now taken siege of the Government house and broke into a TV station, taking control of it also.

In conclusion, the PAD maintain that they will not leave until Samak resigns and Samak maintains that he has no intention of doing so.

What does this mean for me? I have no idea. It is impossible for us to have school as long as the protesters remain there because I teach at the Palace which is located right next to the Government house. Furthermore, many of the students parents are involved with the Government that the mob is demanding to leave - so it's not the safest situation for them either.

So...I'm just trying to enjoy this holiday and ignore the sounds of impending doom because surely something's got to give - I just don't want to be around if/when it does.

Protest Part Deux

School. Canceled. Mob. Palace.

Refer back to a would-be-similar post for any possible questions.

Under Construction

"My road to success is under construction"

I was finishing up my usual stint on facebook when I came across this bumper sticker.

I paused.

Something about those seven words struck a nerve in me. Perhaps it's the fact that my facebook news-feed has been beseiged with recent news of my numerous friends beginning the next stage of their lives in medical school.

It's August and I am not there...where perhaps I ought to be...but instead I am 9,000 miles away in a country I don't understand, with people I've never known, working a job that I never prepared for.

I've justified it by saying that I'm on a great adventure - one that most of my peers will never be able to experience and one from which I will carry memories to last a lifetime. But everday, I am sieged with a fear - perhaps irrational - that those doors are closing for me. Every moment spent in Bangkok, I fear, is one that takes me further away from the future I so neatly planned out for myself at the age of 6.

In my heart of hearts I know that this is not true. I know that my life will be waiting for me whenever the time comes that I am ready to return to it. In all honesty, I think my heart is just breaking because I feel that I am just watching everyone else evolve into who they are to become, while I am here... wading in the kiddie pool entitled 'life experiences'.

There is a quote by Alan Cohen that I try to keep close to my heart when these moments of doubts and insecurities come (and they do come often...):

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

The fact is I am afraid that I am just running away because I won't cut it in that world.

I am afraid of being the one that fails.