A month in review...

Dear Readers,

I can hardly believe that I have been here in Thailand for a month now. It feels like the days have simply flown by. During the past week, it has been quite difficult for me to update given the ever increasing preparation and grading for classes as well as my constantly fluctuating illnesses. My recent bout as of late has been with my asthma; in the US my asthma was confined to overexertion due to exercise or random problems with breathing. However, Bangkok's permeating pollution has made everyday breathing a task in itself. It got to the point where I woke up once in the middle of the night simply unable to catch my breath for what seemed like unbearable minutes. I went to the palace clinic a few days ago where I was given a cornucopia of medicine - 1. Ventolin Evohaler - contains 100 micrograms salbutamol 2. Symbicort Turbuhaler 3. NAC long Acetylcysteine4. Lolergy 5. Diphenyl Expectorant Syrup... the first day on the medications was wretched and I wondered if I had not made a worse decision in taking the meds than in simply suffering through. However, I have now been on the meds for 3 days and am happy to note that I am almost able to take a deep breath without chest pains or succumbing to a coughing fit.

After all this, the sicknesses and the craziness of Bangkok, a month into it I can say that it's one of the best decisions I think I have made. There are moments of extreme homesickness (more the loss of a general surrounding of friends and family rather than any particular home or city), but these are farther and fewer between. There is something to be learned about myself here in Bangkok and I do believe that I am beginning to see that. I think, for now, my greatest challenge to be learned here is to be still. Ever since I can remember, my life has been a series of tasks after the other. My time at Baylor was spent flitting from classes to jobs to meetings to social events on repeat 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It got to the point where the simple, few hours on a Sunday afternoon - when I did not have much to do - became unbearable to my restless spirit. This past semester I managed to juggle 19 upperclassmen hours, 2 jobs, friends, and a number of extracurricular commitments and eked out straight As. It was a great accomplishment, but...

I think I kept myself so busy because I did not know how to be me when no one else was around, when I wasn't teaching, or helping, or running around, or being the crazy Star that everyone was so familiar with. I lost track of the Star who used to be content to sit in a corner, with a good book, or a piece of paper and pen, and let her mind run free. I am finding her here again in Bangkok. Amid this bustling, crowded city, this chance to be farang (foreigner) is giving me another chance to find the familiar that is somewhere within me.

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts. ~K.T. Jong